Secrets & Solitude
K has got this tattoo on her back which reads something like The highest form of love is to be the protector of another person’s solitude. (it’s a quote from Letters to a Young Poet by Rilke)
And increasingly now, I am finding a lot of truth and poignancy in that phrase. You know, sometimes I feel like I have got another world within myself. This huge expanse of nothingness, a place where I go and no one could follow.
I used to think that love is all about trust, openness and complete transparency. Every single thing needs to be talked through & dissected inside out until there is nothing left to pry open, no stones left unturned. But now, I just want someone to be quietly there. I don’t really want to talk about things anymore, but I’m not sure if it’s just me or if it’s you.
Recently I have had so many things on my mind, and it’s affecting everything that I do. Even at work, I try desperately to focus and fail quite miserably. The world is just not the same now.
I so badly want to just go far, far away.